Lifestyle

The Paradox About Balance, What You Need To Be The Best

February 14th 2020

One question that is often asked by many young adults is how to balance school, work, exercise, fun, relationships, etc.

Some adults may have this issue but they eventually figure it out for themselves.

However, it seems that more and more young adults are faced with this incredible amount of pressure to figure things out on their own.

And while you may find some relieve online through your peers sharing experiences of how they overcame certain obstacles, one thing is certain,

You need to take life by the handles and start taking control of your life.

I give a lot of credit for the book, Relentless by Tim Grover about having this mentality to win.

In the following sections below, I explain to you why balance is NOT recommended and why you need to find your strengths and excel at them.

How To Balance School, Work And Exercise

There is no such thing as balance and if you do try to balance your life, you will still wind up unhappy. You will go through many periods of imbalances and while you try to be the best and juggle your different responsibilities, that is a perfect balance. Live your life trying to fulfill your dreams and that is how you will create your own internal balance.

The balance paradox

I love it how people you do not care about tells you that you need to find a balance in life.

Balance this or balance that.

Do you think anything great in life was achieved through balance?

Absolutely not.

Let me illustrate the following point with this situation:

  • If you decided to quit your full-time six-figure job in order to start your own company in your basement, you would be laughed at.

How dare you try to break out of conformity?

How dare you try to be the black sheep?

You will be laughed at

You will be ridiculed.

You will be told to stay in line and do as you are told.

And one of the funniest things out there, if you follow and chase your dreams, you will do everything and anything to get there.

And that is the EXACT opposite of balance.

So, until you find that skill that you excel at and create value for the world, keep on learning and being a student that never stops asking questions.

  • Many young adults are scared into going into college if they had previous ambitions of creating a startup.

Sure, you could make it big.

But what if you fail?

You have no back up.

You take on all this risk without anything to show for it.

It is better to be safe than sorry and just get a four year degree.

You crush your dreams before they even had a chance to blossom and flourish…

And you “study” and waste more time getting a degree you really could care less about.

Is that really “balancing” your life?

In fact, you are so out of tune with your body, it is almost laughable.

Now, if you do pursue a startup, you will not have a balanced lifestyle.

The odds are stacked against you and you will work like hell to get out of it.

You will outwork and outhustle anyone who tries to get in your way.

And only then, you can get the rewards you could have only dreamed about in the past

There is no such thing as balance

From my two examples, you can clearly see that balance does not exist if you want to achieve something great.

Something great.

Greatness is not achieved through balance.

Show me someone great and I can show you someone who has spent years honing their craft.

When other people were resting and hanging out with their friends, they were alone, focusing on their dreams.

When other people were enjoying their entertainment, they were working hard with extra hours.

When other people procrastinate, they wake up early and stay up late.

We are too spoiled and soft now

I have a theory that because we live in a technological age where everything is literally gifted to us, we have excess energy and tend to overthink things.

Contrast that with our ancestors who had to hunt and work hard to provide and take care of their families.

An honest day’s work.

In other words, we have too much extra time thinking about our feelings.

This makes us weak.

Instead of working the fields or getting a job to help the family, many young adults now face psychological disorders, stress, tension, etc.

I do not buy it.

Sure, I do empathize that we are all human and we have emotions.

But we also have discipline and willpower.

When you allow other areas of your life to leak into your main responsibility, that is doing a disservice to yourself. 

Whether that is school, work or exercise, you keep all your emotions separate.

Why?

Do not mix in outside influence with what is important, with what needs your peak attention in order to progress your knowledge, skills, and life.

And this is not to say be cold and heartless.

Do that outside of your school, work and exercise time.

Chances are as a young adult, work, school, and exercise do not take up 24 hours of your day.

So, you do have time to unwind and let out steam.

And even if you are lying and that does take up 24 hours of your time, make room take care of your emotional and mental health.

Do not let it interfere with what is important to you.

My evolution of school, work and exercise

I was a chemical engineering major, computer science minor and I was training with Starting Strength at the time. Later, Greyskull LP, then I made up my own training.

Then, back to starting strength during my senior year.

And for some reason, I felt naturally drawn towards lifting weights.

I kind of wanted to make it my life calling.

So, I tried as hard as I could.

Now, I downplay how much studying I did for my major and minor but it was intense as I would recall.

When I graduated and started working, I also wanted to make sure I continued training.

I would remember the times I was so bloody tired from the commute only to train when I get back home.

I was even starting to dread those days and my enjoyment for strength training was really at an all-time low.

I bounced around a couple of programs and it was not until I quit work for another pursuit that I regained the fire to strength train hard again.

Only this time, I finally realized my limitations as a strength athlete.

If I am able to break any records, that will be my ultimate dream.

However, I will continue to train smartly and for a long, long time. 

I will use my wits and patience in order to progress longer than some of the most gifted athletes.

Overall, where am I going with this?

My life, in my opinion, was anything but balanced. 

I always did exactly what I wanted.

I always pursued my interests and made sure I had fun while doing so.

I also made sure that I learn as much as I could in order to strength train as efficiently as I can.

But am I not afraid about missing out on life or missing out on the hype?

I never cared.

I am only focused on what I can control.

Why should I feel a certain way over a situation that I cannot affect?

That will only make me miserable plus I will feel anxious for literally no reason.

I never understood what I am “missing” out in life nor did I care.

And quite frankly, I feel as though people miss a lot of the greatest gifts locate from within their body, their emotional and spiritual callings.

They get bombarded with so many sweets and propaganda.

I am not even sure they have their own opinion about certain subjects.

References from relentless, how to change your life

This explains a lot about how to win in life.

And you will not win if you keep trying to balance everything.

You will go through many periods of imbalances and while you try to be the best and juggle your different responsibilities, that is a perfect balance.

You will not be able to win at everything at the same time.

As a result, this is one reason why many young adults feel “depressed”.

They have been spoiled rotten that they can get everything they want.

Welcome to reality, where life is cruel.

Once you become practical and realistic, you realize that you only have a limited amount of energy and that only the really important things in life can be down with all your might and effort.

So, it should be one of your values to stay true to yourself and to chase your dreams.

If that means school is #1 for you, aim for that 4.0 GPA while everything else suffers.

If you want to be an athlete, chase that relentlessly while everything else is on the backburner.

If work is your highest priority, everything else will not be as important.

But remember to let the other things fall down gracefully.

They are still your responsibilities, they are just not at the highest importance at this moment.

However, that does not mean your priorities cannot shift as time goes on.

Maybe during vacation or the summer break, you start to value your relationships and you spread your love for that short burst.

During that time, work and school take a nosedive in priority. The same can be said with other responsibilities you have.

Conclusion

I absolutely hate it when older folks lie in front of you.

I am sure they have good intentions but you need real talk.

Most young adults are vulnerable when they try to ask for help and if you give them soft advice with life lessons attached to succeed in their endeavors, you are doing them an injustice.

Reach and exceed your expectations.

Allow yourself to fail and learn from your mistakes so that you come back stronger.

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